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Writer's pictureSandy Cowen

You Think You Really Know Someone? HA!



How many of us spend our lives trying to figure out a friend, a mate, a parent or one of our children? Sometimes we actually believe we’ve cracked the code and then pass judgment—one way or the other on someone else’s potential, intentions, character, future or the way they live their lives. Others spend an entire lifetime trying to change someone they love to make them “better” in some way. Trust me, those efforts are always futile, and the judgments we bestow on others are rarely correct.

This question is deeper than the person someone might project to be, we’re talking here about the reason a person exists on this planet and the journey of their soul—about which those complexities remain mysterious (even to them) until they reach the “other side”.

One thing is sure, according to the hundreds of souls who have come to me to share what they know now, there is always a reason for a person’s life; it is to either learn or teach and sometimes it’s both.

When we review our lives passing before us—and yes, we do get to see that movie! That’s when we begin to recognize where we have fallen short, what we still have to learn or what the lifetime we just experienced was meant to teach us or others. Sometimes we’re the student and sometimes we’re the teacher.

Let’s take just a tiny microcosm of someone’s life first—not the big picture. Let’s focus on how such a life might teach others—simply by living the life with which we were dealt. That teaching role may be our greater purpose or perhaps it was just a portion of our journey, but people teach one another all the time. On a tiny scale, examples of that lie within our circle of friends and family. Sometimes a person is an inspiration in the ability to excel despite enormous challenges. Sometimes that person is one of those kind and loving people who seem too good to be true, always kind and gentle to others. Perhaps that person is uber resilient or they’re just a good listener. There are many ways one person can teach another without lecturing—simply by being an example.

Now, let’s pull back to look at the impacts on the collective from individuals who reach broader audiences and through their notoriety or celebrity. Those folks can also teach us and generally do so with more complex lessons we can assemble together to help us live more successfully, more peacefully and happier lives. With people who are famous, sometimes it isn’t how they lived but rather how they died.

Nicole Brown Simpson is the perfect example of that. Her death and the aftermath of that tragedy went on for months. Did you ever think maybe we were to learn something from all that? Nicole puts a microscope on the lessons some of us failed to grasp.


Well, I certainly became famous after my death, didn’t I? You like most people were glued to your televisions not because of concern for me or Ron but with the shock of O.J.’s involvement. A lousy way to become so well known, but that was my path.”


She went on to say that there were lessons we were to learn from her death and O.J.’s trial but I’m not sure we were all smart enough to connect the dots, so she came back to give us a first-person tutorial.


"….the purpose for all that was to be a lasting message to humanity that regardless of race— it’s celebrity and money that skews the legal system one way or another. Many people still don’t get that."


She makes a great point because today everything seems to be focused on race and that race is the determining factor in victimhood. I’ve always had a hard time with making life that simple, it’s always been that anyone with wealth, power or access has the distinct advantage.


“The other issue that was to eventually surface – and that so – only after numerous books, documentaries and post analyses like the tipping of the legal scales, which many still don’t get, either: it’s never jealousy – it’s control! Women are often in the greatest threat when their independence surfaces with or without separation. When a woman steps into her power and the partner no longer has control. They (the abusers) panic when reality hits and that’s what happened here. O.J. finally realized I was really through and, because he was used to winning his entire life, he couldn’t lose – or lose control.

"My purpose has been completed and now I can rest in the arms of God, with eternal bliss!"


Another fascinating life is the life of Houdini, one of the greatest illusionists of all time. We assume Houdini was here to simply entertain us with the unbelievable feats he executed. Just another famous celebrity, right? Wrong. Houdini’s life was actually to do something more. This is what Houdini shared:


"My purpose (in life) was …. to challenge man with these feats, to make them believe in possibilities and see potential in themselves they may not have recognized. ‘If he can do this – maybe I can do something challenging and difficult in my own life.’ I wanted people to be amazed but also inspired.”


The messages from the “other side” that I receive always have some kind of a twist. They are always surprising to me and further proof that—as much as we think we know and can figure out about humanity and life—we fall short.

Finally, Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde, joined the chorus of souls in SOULS OF LEGENDS SPEAK. Nobody would assume there was any purpose to her life, as tragic as it was, except to be an example of what not to do. Her life was reckless, violent and ended as abruptly as their rampage began. Still, both she and Clyde Barrow were celebrities at the time and people idolized them. Go figure.

Yet, the life of Bonnie Parker did have a purpose as she shares.


“I led such a ridiculous life. To act out a fantasy in front of the world and go out in such a blaze of glory at such a young age was not smart at all. But my purpose wasn’t to set a good example; it was to set a bad one.

“Still people were so asleep in their lives they worshipped Clyde and me. They made celebrities out of even stupid people who they thought had the courage to live at 150%. They found a sliver of good in the fact we didn’t harm the innocents even though the police – individual officers – who were doing their jobs were innocents.

“Instead, they should have looked at us realistically as two individuals who couldn’t exercise any control, were dangerously impulsive and only checked in with reality when the money we’d stolen ran out. Then back to our more wildly out of control entitlement driven behavior that was appalling.

“Oh well, folks could have had as much fun watching a movie instead of glamorizing the seriously flawed who commit crimes—any crimes—against society."


So, Bonnie revisited us to make sure we all understood and wouldn’t make the same mistakes again, although it appears we have.


“Just coming to remind everyone to apply the same standards to what’s happening today in the cities all over the US. Looting, burning, destruction—yes, it’s the same kind of brazen action we did with some twisted rationale. There is no rationale!

“I hope I made my point. People need to wake up and see the reality in the behavior of others—not glamorize, ignore or rationalize it!"


To assume Bonnie Parker was here to simply be another legendary character in history would be to have missed the greater picture. Sure, she presented a lesson in what not to do (as a person) because she ended up riddled with bullets, but more importantly the lesson was for those who worshipped this pair at the time and how those spectators behaved. This lesson was for those who are exposed to such out-of-control behavior, not for those who might potentially become the criminals.

Hers is just another example of how we miss the boat by jumping too quickly to judgment—either influenced through the media coverage, influenced by our friends or just romanticized by our own distorted observations.

What we can be sure of is that unless we know the entire context of a person’s reason for existing, the lesson they were to learn themselves or the lessons they were to teach us—we simply aren’t equipped to render judgment. We just aren’t that smart!







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